Friday, January 14, 2005
It is January again

oh my.. this month.. my most hated month.. it reminds me of all the sadness.. and how my loved ones left me.. last yr.. i gave up a 1.5 yrs relationship.. i thought it was ok.. but i broke down in front of sandra.. it was tough for me.. and for him.. i rejected all the patch ups that e wanted.. refused to accept him again.. i knoe tat i loved him.. but thank God.. for releasing all the torture that this man gave me.. He gave me Bh.. who i love more than any guys ard.. i was so afraid tat he wld leave me.. and becoz of my stupid moods.. i dunno how to handle this relationship now.. but, i am very unsure of myself.. i dunno what i am doing.. jus feel weak.. physically and mentally..
hate all these.. all the flash backs are giving headache.. i hadnt smile for days.. i need to cry.. i need to shout.. i hate this month.. i am so afraid that this relationship will end.. becoz.. my most wonderful relationship, and the man i love most always stop and end in jan.. i dun want to be cursed.. i simply dun want..

Time to Love. Y
5:12 PM

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